Is the reason I cannot drift off to a well-earned sleep because I am overly tired? Why is my mind, suddenly, in overdrive?
It has been a thoroughly lovely day. It has been a long day but a good day with people I love and cherish, who make me feel good—more than good, actually! It has been a pleasure, and yet here I am, heading into the small hours, with my brain deciding to kick in. Bloody annoying! I hate it, and yet I can’t seem to stop or slow the process down. I am hoping that writing literally in the moment will help.
Big yawns, tired eyes, and a growing headache. At this precise moment, I don’t think there is enough room in that old skull of mine to hold it all in; it literally feels like it is about to go boom! Tomorrow (or today, depending on when I finish writing this), I shall be trotting off for what I know will be a wonderful few days with family. Something to cherish and remember with fondness. I mean, it couldn’t be better, really. I should be excited about what the long weekend ahead holds, and I am, but…
I think the saying or phrase I am looking for is “go figure”? I should, of course, stop thinking about, well, stuff, because there is no theme or particular thing that is on my mind—not consciously, anyway. It is just a garble, a cacophony of unwanted shite which I pray wanes very soon.
So what do you do? Take a few deep breaths, hum yourself some sort of mantra? There isn’t an answer except to work through it, let it do its thing, and let tomorrow be just another day. It’s not easy being me sometimes. I despair and I really don’t understand. What I do know is that I have much to look forward to, and if I concentrate on that, maybe, just maybe, I’ll get to bloody sleep.